everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
