How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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