just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
