when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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