I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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