I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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