Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I see more hoeing in ur future
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