I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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