My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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