..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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