love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
