We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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