I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
