Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
as a side note pls kill me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
