Texts From Last Night

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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.

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  (862): textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me (973): that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world. http://tfl.nu/8ia3
  Replies (27) Good night (828) Bad night (2370)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

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  (816): Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm. http://tfl.nu/bk02
  Replies (6) Good night (2211) Bad night (1048)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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  (847): Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test http://tfl.nu/tst5
  Replies (13) Good night (3089) Bad night (442)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so I ended up banging her last night

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't even remember

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  (414): so I ended up banging her last night (1-414): dude I remember her. You sure it was a her? (414): i don't even remember http://tfl.nu/73hr
  Replies (8) Good night (857) Bad night (3660)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.

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  (850): hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored. http://tfl.nu/m1fl
  Replies (43) Good night (1051) Bad night (7855)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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  (908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b
  Replies (33) Good night (4045) Bad night (5139)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.

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  (419): Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night. http://tfl.nu/v4wy
  Replies (6) Good night (933) Bad night (2238)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.

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  (334): How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE. http://tfl.nu/y183
  Replies (11) Good night (3990) Bad night (856)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

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  (508): Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying. http://tfl.nu/h4eg
  Replies (7) Good night (5853) Bad night (1396)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me

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  (773): I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me http://tfl.nu/kij5
  Replies (9) Good night (1655) Bad night (861)
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  (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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  (347): When are you not under some influence? (917): Since last Tuesday...yesterday. http://tfl.nu/zuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (1501) Bad night (653)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

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  (719): That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive. http://tfl.nu/zac0
  Replies (8) Good night (1388) Bad night (623)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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  (856): So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying. http://tfl.nu/yw9q
  Replies (2) Good night (1053) Bad night (523)
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  (916): View more from California

  The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.

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  (916): The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu. http://tfl.nu/i9o3
  Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (402)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly

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  (314): I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly http://tfl.nu/uc15
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (271)

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