I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"