Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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