I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
