Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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