I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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