Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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