Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
