Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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