in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
