dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
