so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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