everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
