why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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