hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer