I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"