when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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