Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
