you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
