I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Boobs are out for the taking
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
