maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
