i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
