Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Everything about him screamed your future.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
