Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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