it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
