it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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