Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize