Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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