he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
