Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
