i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
