Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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