why didn't you poke me back
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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