after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
