I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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