It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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