I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
