billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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