If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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