Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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