I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
