just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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