I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
