I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize