I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cut my penus on the lid.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize