Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
