I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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