this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
