Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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