I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
