wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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