Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
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This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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