I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
